So for an update the stairs to my house were really slick with on Monday and I thought Adrien was having car trouble, so I threw on sneakers to go help. I slipped on the first step and landed right on my back on the edge of the step, also hitting the next one just under my lower back. There’s a really fantastic painful-looking bruise on the top of my ass and nothing on my back, but they hurt pretty equally. Also makes it fucking difficult to get around because I landed directly on the mass of muscles that controls everything in my torso.
So reaching back is kind of a fucking pain, and reaching up and back is pretty much impossible. The top of my left shoulder blade has been itching non-fucking-stop. Thus I’ve been unashamedly using an extra comb like a back scratcher to try and get to it. Pretty sure I look kind of crazy/weird but I’m scratching the spot I can’t reach and it feels great.
wet dream: being financially secure with a career i enjoy
oh that’s it baby, invest in that retirement fund, oh yeah pay off my student loans!
The female Dragonborn walks into the Ragged Flagon for the start of a fanfiction that has been done hundreds of times. Brynjolf looks up from his mead.
"Dat lass," he whispers.
Please note: this fanfiction wouldn’t have to be written if we allowed to romance the fucker.
My mom is a travel agent and I can confirm that people are legitimately this stupid when it comes to travel.
"It took us 9 hours to get home to England but the Americans only took 3 hours this is unfair" OH YES LET ME JUST REARRANGE THE GEOGRAPHY OF THE FUCKING PLANET FOR YOU SIR TERRIBLY SORRY
Whenever I think “oh this is the funniest one” I read the next one and I just can’t
I just——I think my brain has dissolved
It’s an english pastime to moan about anything and everything
…You know, at times like this the only thing that comes to mind is “Maybe we should bring survival of fittest back…not forever, just…for a little while.” And I feel a little bad but also not hugely terrible.